the sign says...YOU ARE HERE!
gee, what a relief...

a red dot...on a line
of some lunatic's reasoning

what logic!...what sense!
so stupid, it's staggering

an idiot...trail
that doesn't know where it's going

can't miss it?...oh, yes i can
i can miss anything
gimme a hint...and i'll drop it...

like a bush league catcher with a hole in his mitt
all the balls are taking crazy bounces

proudly point out the joints on your strip
but all i'll see are slaughterhouses

if fun can kill ya
and work can kill ya
and sex can kill ya
and the air can kill ya
that doesn't leave a whole lotta options...

saddle up, buckaroos!
it's all uphill from here
mount yer big dumb animals
take plenty of dope and beer
the scenery's such a wreck
it'll whack yer cameras...

we're taking the idiot trail

and if fun can kill ya...
i guess there are a whole lotta options, afterall!

so be happy...but beware
there's teeth behind those grins

so sweet...so instant
but the hungry never win

cold-cocked...cold cuts
a deli of disarray
is this art?...or an ashtray?

the difference is moot, snuff out yer cheroot
and see if anybody complains

slice through the sky in a flying knife
or would you can always hop the bullet train?

if food costs money
and clothes cost money
and gas costs money
and money costs money
i guess ya need a whole lotta money...

buckle up, buckaroos!
‘cause we're headed for angry weather
and every part in this thing
came from the lowest bidder
last chance to use the can
and call your mothers...

yahoo...we're taking the idiot trail

yippy-ki-oh-ki-ay, huzzah, three cheers...

we're taking the idiot trail